Smack My Pitch Up

[Pete]

Hi,

Find below the pitch for a "kitchen sink" drama-style RPG set in contemporary Sudbury, Suffolk.

Marcie dreads a duty lunch with her aunt and uncle, and Barry returns to work.

Can you help me spice this up? I think it lacks that certain "something" that's gonna draw in players like hooked fish.

Note that the genre is kitchen sink drama, so throwing in owlbears, were-sharks, and Cthulhu is not an option. (No laserbeams, cybernetic vultures, or Polymorph Other spells either sadly.)

I know I haven't given you much to go on, but that's the nature of the beast I'm afraid: not much happens in Sudbury, a town that a visiting colonial once described as "The Stockport of Tractor Country."

Cheers
Pete

[Neil Gow]

First Sunday of the month again ... time for Marcie to enter the lion's den again. An aunty who thinks she's not a real woman and an uncle that looks at her like a piece of meat. What's worse if what will happen if she doesn't go... Meanwhile, Barry is given an early finish at work and what he finds when he comes home will change his life forever.

[andrewmorton1968]

Maybe Marcie dreads that lunch because she had been secretly having an affair with the uncle and her aunt doesn't know about it yet. Maybe she's pregnant with the uncles child - or is that too East Enders? Has Barry been off work suffering from a nervous breakdown because he knows about Marcie having an affair?

[Kaiserjez]

Is Barry a hit man?

That's all I got.

[rabalias]

The dreaded family gathering. Marcie will sit through hours of her aunt's sniping and her uncle's crude humour, while her cousin sits in the corner acting... weird. Pretty much the usual where her family are concerned. But this time isn't usual, because rumour has it that her Aunt Edna is rewriting her will. She may not be rich, but she's on her last legs, and the money is all Marcie needs to pay off her debts and get off to a fresh start. The question is, how to please a woman who could complain for the Olypmics?

Barry had been off work for almost six months with his back complaint. He just knew that the boss didn't believe he was really sick. It would be all snide remarks and sideways glances. But Barry knew something that would keep him in his job as long as he wanted - he knew his boss had been fiddling the accounts. Now, to see how far that would take him.

[thenovalord]

Did the uncle used to abuse Marcie.
And she now she has proof her aunt knew.
She thought things were going to work out ok
Then Barry tried to rape her.
She was hardened from times past and she kicked him , sharply in the groin.
He is only just returning to work.

She sits down for lunch
there is wine
her aunt never serves wine

[Pete]

Is Barry a hit man?

That's all I got.

Jez, you never fail to deliver the goods. 'cos damn, a hit man is totally kitchen sink. Like, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner would have been, like, so much better if a, like, hit man had popped that little shite when he, like, stopped just befoe the finish line. Like, KA-POW!

WTF? A hit man?

Actually, Kill List is kinda where you were going with that right? I stand corrected, you're a proper genius Jezmondo.

[Kaiserjez]

Actually, Kill List is kinda where you were going with that right? I stand corrected, you're a proper genius Jezmondo.

To be honest I probably had more Gross Pointe Blank in mind.

[Al]

Is Barry a hit man?

That's all I got.

No but he did kill the local loanshark with a spanner in the multi storey and went to the catholic padre for forgiveness (and to burn the loan book)

That might not be kitchen sink drama but 'twas a gritty film

[Magus]

Pete, you should watch "Rachel Getting Married."

EDIT - sorry, I should explain this a bit more. I think that people risk getting carried away with the setting. This is becoming a pet peeve - that something extreme needs to happen. In this sort of setting what is the bare minimum that could happen? What would add to the human drama. But then does it become a Mike Leigh film? Not that this is a bad thing...

[thenovalord]

EDIT - sorry, I should explain this a bit more. I think that people risk getting carried away with the setting. This is becoming a pet peeve - that something extreme needs to happen. In this sort of setting what is the bare minimum that could happen?

well, he did asked us to Smack his pitch up

maybe if he had said warm, nudge, tweak....

Marcia hated going to her aunts. Ever since the accident she found her once soft seats quite painful to sit on. Her aunt had also become enlightened in the tea department, and served Celine Dion, or something equally tasteless and strangely named. So now she had to drink coffee at her aunts, and for some reason her uncle insisted it needed a pinch of salt. She had always heard that giving up smoking did strange things to your tastebuds. Surprisingly, she kind of missed the earthy pipesmoke.
As as for Barry. He seemed to be avoiding her. This must be three months in a row he had left something at work. It seemed to Marcia she would never get that book back

[Tim Gray]

Hey guys, let's play this game that's like Eastenders but without the sophistication. Or we could make a pact to jump off a bridge together.