Times are tough. Finding jobs ain't as easy as it once was. For each job there'll be a hundred or more folk applying for it. It's a bloody joke. What are you going to do?
You're going to brass ball it. You may not know anything about the advertised position, but you learn real fast, and how hard can it really be?
Get your foot in the door.
Blag it.
You can do this.
In this role-playing poem for 2-5 players, one player will play the role of a jobseeker interviewing for a position; the other players will play the roles of the folk interviewing that person for the position.
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The role-playing poem is just a conversation, modelled around a job interview. You've probably interviewed for a position once or more in your life, so it's a lot like that. You shake hands, you sit down, you talk about the position, previous experience, life goals, and stuff like that.
Decide as a group what role is being offered: nurse, teaching assistant, software developer, painter/decorator, whatever you like. Veto gonzo suggestions like "Prime Minister", "Sex Doll Tester" or "Grand Poobah." If you like, you can flesh out a few details of the role such as wage and basic duties, but equally you can just name a role and improvise the details during the interview.
Decide which of you is going to be the jobseeker: everyone else will be the interviewers. The interviewers might be composed of team leader, Human Resources manager, line manager, a team member at the same level as the position being offered, those kind of folk.
Decide how long the interview is going to last: for our purposes ~10-15 minutes is a good duration. Nominate someone to track the time.
You can do this.
You've skimmed Wikipedia for the lowdown on the role, so you can toss in a few words that make it sound like you know what you're talking about. (Recall that you really don't know what you're talking about.) If an interviewer asks about your specific experience of something, be evasive; turn the interview away from detailed technical questions towards softer, "fuzzier" stuff that's easier to blag such as *"where do I see myself in 5 years?"*, *"I work well in a team"*, and *"I value making a positive contribution."*
You can do this.
Be confident! If you're being pressured, turn the tables on the interviewers by interviewing them: ask interviewer about their experience of the role, how the company turns a profit, and suchlike. Make a positive impression: firm handshakes, strong eye contact, confident speech will take you most of the way there.
You can do this.
Bear in mind that you don't want to be caught out as a blagger. If you were blagging an interview in real life and you were exposed, wow... that'd be uncomfortable. The pressure is on you not to be caught out. Treat that pressure seriously for the duration of the game.
You can do this.
It's in your best interest to hire the right person for the role. You're unlikely to find the perfect candidate, but it's an employers market out there right now so you don't need to accept dross.
Bear in mind that you're expecting the jobseeker to be there in good faith: that is, you assume that what they say is the truth. You're certainly not expecting them to be brass balling it, at least not initially; if the jobseeker's answers to your routine questions are evasive, then you might become more suspicious: press them for more detailed answers, cut them off if they start waffling or changing the subject, and make sure that they answer your specific questions.
If you're convinced the jobseeker is blagging it, what will you do? If you're role-playing someone that is conflict averse, then you're going to grind out the interview without making a fuss. If you're playing someone that is not conflict averse, then call the jobseeker on their blagging: they've come to this interview in bad faith, they've wasted your time, and you're going to pin them down and let them know it!
Start the role-play by getting everyone to stand up. One of the interviewers shakes hand with the jobseeker, everyone then sits down, and the interview begins with one of the interviewers asking the jobseeker a question like "Why you want to work here?" (Or you can ask a question of your own devising.)
The game ends upon expiry of the agreed interview duration.
Everyone stands up, shakes hands with the jobseeker, and one of the interviewers says "We'll be in touch." If you like, the interviewers can discuss and decide whether to offer the jobseeker the role.
You can then swap roles and play again, or call it a day there. Interviewing is pretty tiring!
I once applied for a job as a painter. (Painting walls, that kind of thing.) I got the job after a quick chat with some guy in a tie, rocked up to the site on the Monday morning, had a brew, and started painting this wall.
After a while, a guy without a tie came up to me and asked me what I was doing. "I'm painting this wall." (!) He looked at me in a rather odd way, and then said "You ain't a painter mate."
It turns out that I wasn't a painter. Evidently there'd been a cock up and they needed a "real" painter: one that had done an apprenticeship. (Who knew that being a painter was about more than just slapping paint on walls?) I was just a guy off the street who needed a job, and well, I was shortly back on those streets, without a job and only a little wiser.
Do write and tell me about your experiences with Brass Balls.
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